Hot and cold.

Arrrrgh I need  my sanity please oh please.
Where do I start?  Oh Well!  I went  out with  my team from work and ended  up dancing  with  my tl all night And flirting  on the dance floor. We came  back to his all smiles happy  and drunk.
My team  members  were very shocked  and Some  where  happy others hated it while  the rest  went  with it. My tl and I ended  up sleeping together  but No sex or kissing. We almost  did  but we were  both  conscious.
We cuddled a lot and spoke  till we fell asleep.
Well back  to work  and we are all acting  like  Nothing happened but I noticed  he became impatient with  me then nice then ignored me then act nice  again.
So I told  him we needed  to talk and he agreed. The talk lead to tears, hugs,laffs and progress report.
Things went  cool for the rest of the day.
Went  back to hot and colD SIGNALs again. I have  tried  to figure out the deal  but can't  on his last  day before holiday we spoke  after  work  and I said  I was  gonna  miss him. He threw me back by saying  I will miss every one too.am like  why r u hot and cold  he said Because he doesn't  wanna  lose  his job.he has to watch  what  he says. Am like  OK. Fine  and I walked away.  It hurts that  am single  but nothing comes  easy....Kim from real wives of altanta  meant  her husband when  she lest expected it I bet mind is round the corner too..
I have  been  through  three major  heart breaks I don't  need another.
So am gonna  move on.every  little intimate secs  my tl &i spent  will now be deleted from my head. I can't  chase man.men should  chase  me  .am very  hot tall funloving smart smell nice loyal educated  I don't  need  to chase  men or beg men. I know my man is some where out there .and he would  find me soon.  I just  need to be patient and pray. So here  goes:
I pray to God that  I meet  some one who would love  me for real and not be  afraid  to show it. He would love  me like  crazy  and be very  protective  caring and God fearing. He would  respect me and be jealous. He would  accept me for  me and not betray my love.
I don't  care if he is white or black as long as he loves  me and not hurt me.
My birthday is round  d corner  I need  a change in my relationship status  .I WANT TO BE TRULY LOVED.