This love

My sister's attitude is quite  shocking like when ever she seeS me she acts cold  am like seriously???
Anyway, my car and  general living affects them
Anyone beefing will go sick when I eventually get a job. Like  stand back people...
My prayer for today
Please God,
help  me get  a job so I can take care of myself and my parents please. Help  Obi  get a good deal so he can make some cash so we came get married. Father please I want to marry my best friend and some one dat will be able to be there for Me and vice versa.  U know  me better heavenly father please bless  me.
Thank u for  all the wonderful things u have and will continuing doing for  me. Please  provide for me. Thru ur dear son Jesus Christ amen.

It bloody hurts yet again.

Yup yet again  he let me down. Why do I feel  so sad yes cause  when u break  a promise  or get stood up it hurts.  So I channel my energy  into  organsing my clothes  yup  folding  and unfolding. Hehehe.
I finally  found  a cure  to heartbreak  just  feel  the pain  it only  last  but for a while.
Wanna  know  a secret?
is it enough  to dive some body save  my life  I'd rather  be any thing  bit ordinary please?
love  sucks but  u know  what  it  gets  better with time.
Every time  I rush  into  something  it turns out  to bite  my ass.
So no more  .... I pray to be successful so I won't  be indebted  to any  man.
I want  and NeEd my miracle today  now  right  bloody  now.
I want  to be able  to leave  breathe free.
I want to be comfortable
I want  to draw  closer to God.
I want  to remain the amazing orelafizzle CEO orelaminders.
See ya.

Flying emotions

So once again the said boyfriend stood me up. I was so angry  but  tried  to control my anger.
I've  only  seen him once, since I came back.  I don't  know  how or what to feel  I just  know  I feel very  empty.
I feel  like  he's  avoiding me.  But what  can I do but  wait  and see. 
I feel  relationship should not be forced. 
so am gonna  let it be. The way it  is and focus on me and not let my hart  be broken  any further.  Am so freaking sick off this. Arrghhh

Still single

I miss  having connection to the internet. But  not to worry  that  will  be sorted out soon.
I miss Google because  now no one here  can give  me straight forward answer that  I need.
Today  am gonna  tell  u some  signs that my suppose to be boyfriend is giving me.
1:Excuses
Yes he plans dates and cancel them at the very last minute.
He complains that  my house is too  far and that there is always  traffic  to get there.
2: he ignores my call or even  when  he does  take  my calls he speaks briefly and if I insist on speaking longer he gets irritated and often hangs up.
3: now  he complains  that  he is always  busy  and  too busy  to take  my call or reply  my SMS.
4: he always reminds me  that  he loves me.
5: he is always  apologizing for everything that he does.

I know  he is busy but not as much  as he claims,
I know  he is not interested in seeing me anylonger,
I know  he is doing  all this  because he wants me to leave him.
So I guess I have  to be strong  and not stupid  and focus  on myself maybe  God will  give  me some one  that  will  treat  me right  and be real not  messing  around  with me.

From tomorrow the ignore Sean adeosho project begins.
No more text,calls or answering his calls.
I'm  gonna try to be strong.
All I need  is 3days and poof, the heart ache will be over.
It's  hard  but on da real  I've been there loads  of times.
I'll  just  have  to go thru it again.

I want more

Yes I don't  mean to sound ungrateful but seriously I need and want a better life. Am not  getting any younger. I really do need my miracle today. Please.
To begin with my web designer is messing up. He has refused to do the right thing. Am so sick and tired of all this.
I have no cash no job no business no boyfriend. This isn't what I asked  God for oh.....I seriously want more.
Some thing better. Please father please.....

I need my miracle now

So am back to being broke. No cash seriously no cash. I hate  the  fact dat  I have to ask for money. I still haven't found the right job. It sucks.  I want to  start my own company and look it is Ain't happening things keep bring me down. Am tired oh.
I wish I could just meet a guy who would whisk me aWay but  must  be super rich.
Arrgh  I hate  the fact  dat  am not seeing anyone and I don't want  to settle for less.
I hate hate hate  my self right now. Arrrghhh......

Just because

Am back  in Africa  and believe it or not am broke. Short  of cash,  cash less what  ever way u want  to call it.
However, am glad  to say Sean and I are back together again.  Saw him a week  ago I do really  like  him but am scared  Eddie and Kwesi have  taught  me  a lesson.  Don't want  to get hurt  again can't  handle it. So  am kinda  keeping  an open  mind.
Or what do u think dear diary?

Later on....
Well  had not heard  from  Sean called a couple  of times but no answer. I grew very worried  and even sent sms no reply  so at 9.pm I called  he answer  and told  me scratched his knuckles and decided to rest  them. I was like  so it hurt so bad that  u couldn't  pick up my call?  Then he  went  all defensive about  me always  arguing and trying  to Start something.
He called  me annoying and threatened to hang  up which  he eventually did.  Well I must  confess  I was upset and worried and sent  him an SMS to apologize and all , he sent one  back saying  he loves me &gnite

Why am sharing this u r not my diary?  But well it is my blog  I can blog watever I want.
I hate being hart broken  but the truth  is it's  unavoidable. We all go thru  it.
How we deal with  it is wat really  matters.
Buttom line is am use  to the pain and worries dat  comes  with heart break. 
From  now  I will  just  keep  an open  mind.
I know  my prince is out there and will  come for me really  soon.