Age aint nothing but a thing

She met him at a party  they both danced together. It was crazy  there was chemistry...
Two  weeks later they were  in a hotel room doing it  . Horrible horrible sex  Moving on.
I hate it when men give Excuses So on the real I know  I say it alot  but I have given up on men as in finding the one. Because on d real there is no such thing as the one. 
I know am gonna die  alone or rather single So I am ready  for it. I know am meant to be grateful but wat is the need as there is no point being nice and getting stuck with d idiots it just doesn't help. Look at me am hot sexy educated broke no man. To sad seriously too sad.  I might have been abandoned by God.
When will I ever be successful it hurts me So bad. I give up already I honestly give up.

Damsel in distress

Today  I feel very lonely very very very lonely and naked. Also feel  bloated  I nid to try and get myself back in shape.
Just saying!
finally decided to go  out more by myself  strange I know. Woke up today  my house mate already packed up the TV and speakers.. not to worry  Amma get  mine tomorrow after work  can't  be mega bored no sir re....
I can't  wait  to meet da funky special some one soon  Cause  am kinda  getting  bored of being by myself it sucks totally....
I need  a new shopping/movie /best friend  partner...
Damsel  in distress....  damsel in soooooo much distress...  help  help

Hot and cold.

Arrrrgh I need  my sanity please oh please.
Where do I start?  Oh Well!  I went  out with  my team from work and ended  up dancing  with  my tl all night And flirting  on the dance floor. We came  back to his all smiles happy  and drunk.
My team  members  were very shocked  and Some  where  happy others hated it while  the rest  went  with it. My tl and I ended  up sleeping together  but No sex or kissing. We almost  did  but we were  both  conscious.
We cuddled a lot and spoke  till we fell asleep.
Well back  to work  and we are all acting  like  Nothing happened but I noticed  he became impatient with  me then nice then ignored me then act nice  again.
So I told  him we needed  to talk and he agreed. The talk lead to tears, hugs,laffs and progress report.
Things went  cool for the rest of the day.
Went  back to hot and colD SIGNALs again. I have  tried  to figure out the deal  but can't  on his last  day before holiday we spoke  after  work  and I said  I was  gonna  miss him. He threw me back by saying  I will miss every one too.am like  why r u hot and cold  he said Because he doesn't  wanna  lose  his job.he has to watch  what  he says. Am like  OK. Fine  and I walked away.  It hurts that  am single  but nothing comes  easy....Kim from real wives of altanta  meant  her husband when  she lest expected it I bet mind is round the corner too..
I have  been  through  three major  heart breaks I don't  need another.
So am gonna  move on.every  little intimate secs  my tl &i spent  will now be deleted from my head. I can't  chase man.men should  chase  me  .am very  hot tall funloving smart smell nice loyal educated  I don't  need  to chase  men or beg men. I know my man is some where out there .and he would  find me soon.  I just  need to be patient and pray. So here  goes:
I pray to God that  I meet  some one who would love  me for real and not be  afraid  to show it. He would love  me like  crazy  and be very  protective  caring and God fearing. He would  respect me and be jealous. He would  accept me for  me and not betray my love.
I don't  care if he is white or black as long as he loves  me and not hurt me.
My birthday is round  d corner  I need  a change in my relationship status  .I WANT TO BE TRULY LOVED.

Rants rants .com

Yaaay Friday was fun I loved it.I went out With my work mate s. We went for drinks at my bosses house and then went clubbing.  Bumping and grinding  made my boss  hooked  on me. Slept over  and cuddled  with  my boss. Alnight it was So cool  I had fun.
Best night ever.... I wish it was real but only time will tell... we cuddled face to face and he held me So tight.
But No sex or kisses.today  is work what will be the out come? Am So scared.....

Rants raw rants

Well safe to say am not the only girl in group there are four more girls. Nothing new  okay  girls So am not scared or shakened....
Anyways, am just  chilling and waiting for  my Mister right.  My sister  sent  me  an SMS today.saying to stop  asking  my dad for money because he paid  my school fees. Am like  are u high ? And told her to mind her business. Silly hag.
moving on!
Why sister  keeps  fighting  me is a mystery.  Am sick and tired  of her stupid behavior. So annoying.
......................................
So far, I have  been busy  with  work... it's  quite interesting. I've been  giving a target  of 7 emails per hour. My tl is still  very  nice  to me So no cause for alarm.
However, my team members think  my tl gives  me special treatment but I beg to differ.
My dad rang to pray for me and he said "ask God to help you with business,marriage and good health". I feel bad because I think my dad is worried that  am not  seeing anyone. So sad I almost  cried.
Today  I prayed  to God to help me find true love.

ATTENTION MR  RIGHT.....
  Dear  Mr right comeout, come out, where ever u r.show  urself,I don't  wanna  be alone any further .
I wanna  be able  to spend weekends with  you.
I wanna  be able  to tell you  about  work  and stuff  I see.
I want  to be able  to hug and be hugged. And hear the  words I love  u and be able  to say it back.
I need  u now...

Mixed feelings

Well So far work  has been great. Thank u Jehovah.
I noticed at work  my Tl has been extra  nice  which is good  but then I noticed He is always  touching me like  not in bad way but  like  hands brushing  legs brushing.
Sharing of gum and mints  .going  half on chicken wings.
Cracking jokes okay  Maybe  am over  thinking but still  feels  different  and am scared  that it might  just be nothing.
And  then my friend  at work  told me oh look  I know  it's  So obvious  and Every one knows.
He is good  looking but then again  He probably is married.
My good friend David  said to just keep  being  me and if He likes  me He will  come out and say it.
Plus  my team members  don't  even talk  to me am d only  girl  For  now  but  still every time I try to chat  with  them  they go all mono syllable on me.
I feel  strange  and  alone.
......

Le struggle continues

So been a while  eh!
Well quick  update  So I have finished  training  yay!  But now the real  deal  begins. I will  have  you know   night  shift  is hard  especially at 5 in the morning  yup.
Who  ever said  dorks make up d night  team lied  cause   there are hunks up in here  ( high  fiving no one  in particular ) plus  am the only  female  in my  group  sucks  right?  I know
Moving on
For  d past four  days  I have been   dying in pain.  Yup  sore tongue  that shit be painful.
My  goodness  I couldn't  eat  or sleep  it was terrible  but thank God am getting  better
I miss  my mum  So much  as well as real  home  cooked  meals  arrrrrgh.

Moving 
Plans  for my days off well
Make  my hair  and sleep  alot  it is needed.

So at work  last nite my workmate  asked  if I drive  to work  I said no  she like So how do  u get here am like  bus  and she goes  wow what's it like  ? Mmmmm stupid question  requires  stupid answer So I said well There  are seats  windows  a man to drive  the bus........ she laffed  at her stupidity......

So coming home to  see different faces in my flat  yup  girls  every where  Who are they I asked  myself mentally.
Well  I guess when  u live  with  two guys  u Get to meet  loads of girls  in the house.
Not  impressed So far....

Le struggle continues

So I moved  into  my new place  last nite  and not bad I must  add not bad... very  clean  and organised...

Life of d singles.  I don't  think  Am making good use of my time. I shouldn't be sleeping I should be putting myself out there for that  is the only way  Am gonna meet any guy.
I need  to device  a plan or should  I just  date online?  What if the guy turns out  to be a psycho. Nah I can't  Am too scared.. but  i  don't  want to be very single for ever  So wat  do u suggest?
Moving on.. I have  a plan it involves me dressing up and stopping over  having  a meal before heading to work.
But looking  nice and smiling... What if my Mister right is not in this country?  What if Am wasting  my time?
Hey janet Jackson  did find d love of her life  and he is a  f#$&*ing billionaire  What  a happy  ending. I Am sure  my happy  ending is waiting  round  the  corner  for me.
I guess in life Since we are all imperfect the best way to win is to try try keep trying  till we succeed.
I Am prepared to keep trying and wait  patiently  for my Mister right  some one  who would love  me and cherish  me for me.I will take care  of him and he would do d same.
Once  again I give  God all the glory  for he is good  and I Thank him  and Am willing to wait for my blessing   

Scattered thots

Hey there!  woke up late. And  ran all  the way to the bus station  with  out  make  up ...yup   stressed  as fuck..
First  my mum woke  me up with  oh daddy  said he Is not  gonna  pay for ur ticket  to come  back..
And he doesn't  have  ur number   Am like  wow!!  Really  like  Wat  a way to start  ma day.
With  So much going  on. I just  don't  need  this negativity....
Then  dad called  to insult me and finish  off by saying  I don't  have  any money  to give  u Am like  cool..
Well to be fair  I place  the fone on my laps  and looked  out the window  and when  he was done I picked  the fone back up But he already  hung up.
Yup  slience  is just  the best  answer....
All I have  to say is things  will  get better
Things  will get better
Thank  u God for ur blessings .I Am very  grateful..
Please  protect me and provide for me.
As u have  always  done.
Loads  of love
Ur daughter. Xx

God is real

Remember  my going  broke situation of all situations? Anyway quick update  my landlord gave  me a quick  and very  scary  speech  of leave  my house  if u don't  pay me in 3 days ...
Am like  it's  all good.  So I packed my stuff  and moved  to my friends place  ..but did dat  let  me down?  Nope  it did  not  I continued to pray and wait  on God...  believe  it or not  he does  come through.
A friend of mine "j " who is pretty cool   about  letting me stay over.
Wop wop!!

Le struggle...

Should life be this  hard  ? I don't  think so...... I need  cash badly broke... helpless...
But in all things  we give  God d glory...

Another struggling day in another man's land...

Hi  there  to no one in particular,  so remember  my well  planned stake out  ? Well  it didn't  work.. I checked my account  and found  13.00 pounds...  I know  things will  get better  but  why are things  so rough  for me it is not like  I was mean to any one  or I did  not  help people  when  I had the chance..
I have  a return  ticket  to go home  but to even get to the airport  I don't  have  cash   except  the 13.00 I don't  want  to return  in shame. No present for my mum  or friends  I know  it's Canada  but come  on I refuse  to go back defeated.
I should  be able  to make it or don't  u think  so?
For some  reason  I don't  feel nothing  as I feel nothing  but defeat.  Well I tried  sha  now to mind my business  and look  on...  I don't  know if God is upset with  me for  sumthing  I have  done  but  please  spare  me father  my woes are just  to much  for me to bear....

Scattered thots

Strange so strange, am currently  on a 7.58 bus  and it's filled  with school  kids  that  is not surprising but the shocking  part  is they are quiet very  quiet  even as I listen to music  with  earphones on I feel  like  am noisy  kinda disturbing the peace.  

This is very  scary, have I been kidnapped or is this  a dream?  Questions questions ?
moving on swiftly>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So today is the 9th with  my rent  issues still  in full  force. And very scared  I  am....  what  to do. Finally  I call on to God to please save  me... I need help  real  help.... 

I don't  want  to be kicked  out with  no one to truly  help me. I recently found out  that  religious leaders  don't trust  their members  but  want  their members  to trust  em....funny  so funny...  anyways  my friend said  he  is  gonna help.  But let see how It  goes I don't  think he will  but any ways let's see how da  day unfolds.....

Raining trainning

So am kinda  of late  for work today .  Yup! my  training  starts  at  9.am today  but  for some reason   am  not  sure  but am on an 8.26 bus " who does  that? ". Anyways  am  like  on the bus and  there right there blast  from the past I see my former  classmate  on my bus  looking  so fly ( not really) and am like  in a dorkey sweater and sloppy  shoes  arrrrrrgh.
  While she is carrying  a zara  hand bag very  classy I must  add. i am  wearing my  one and only  green Canadian sweater  and sloppy  newlook shoes;I bet she thinks  am  like  so  poor(** head down in shame **)
But  then again she is kinda  right  ya know.... no cash for now  but soon  really  soon. It will be alright.
@ Da  end of the tunnel  there is a light bulb I just  hope  the maintenance people  remembered  to  switch  it on..... turn on Da   light, turn da light   ***in Nelly furtardo 's  voice.. ***
Once  again  I just  wanna say thank  u God  for  preserving me please  I patiently wait  for my  miracle  do  help me and bless  me too.
Just  got off  training..  am so worried  in a funny mild  way.  My rent  on my mind ... should  I take  my return  and leave peacefully or should I stay and struggle?  Am I a quitter or surviver? So help me God....

Shocking (blast from the past)

Mmmm  where  do I begin....  so am kinda  of late on my rent and  is getting  so worried .I decided to ask for  assistance in church ,I spoke  to one of the elder and he said  he is not sure it would  happen because  they are not sure  I would pay back. Am shocked and disappointed because I thought  the church  members are suppose to trust  their flock?  If they  can't  help  me in my current situation   because of trust issues then am  sorry  but y r we ur members .just  sad  I wonder  y all this  money issue is affecting me?  Am so tired of this all we.I need ur help  Jehovah God  and I need it fast please  today too.. thank u.

As a temp

I must  confess  the best  time  to meet or see a "raw sexy guy"is in the am.  Yup sexy builders  do it for me. So hotttttt  damn.
So as a customer  care advisor (in training ) I get to catch the 6.44/6.58 bus to werk (work ) I still  can't  understand  how much  energy  I possess  I guess  it is safe  to  say am an overly energetic enthusiastic sexy  babe.....
What  am I looking  forward  too today  at  werk  ....learning, talking  to people  and majorly  staring at hottttttt  looking  guys.
Am balling  for  two. Hold up! Is this  old man in his early  80's chatting  me up. Thank God for earphones....   just  smile  sweetie  u never  know  ... ur smile  could  / may/ will  /elevate  his day.
Dear  God ,thank u for the opportunity...  amen.....
Now  let's  rotate...  
don't  goooooooo  I scream loudly  in my head  as I watch the sexist  dude in the AM... get off the bus.sooooo  sad... ...well more to see around  my office... I pray ( mentally doing  the on bended knees prayer )

New beginings

Just  started  a new job in an online fashion company. Pretty cool eh! I know. No good looking man yet man...none what  so ever.
Dang it.tummy growling for  food  am ma be right  back......