Looking back at my three weeks of being disobedience/ rebel OK whatever word you choose to call me I would say I slide back into sin with out any effort. I mean I have been trying so hard to get right back with God and all even staying away from bad behavior and for the past 5 months I was doing great and I was actually proud of myself. I even volunteered to work in the house of God and all. Then one unplanned day without out thinking about sex or anything dirty I met a hot guy whom I allowed destroy every damn thing I have worked hard for. At first I fought hard but then my weakness failed me.
I don't even know how am gonna get out of this mess. And I don't even like the guy. Boredom got the best of me.
Recently I am beginning to have suicidial thots. I sometimes imagine myself jumping over a bridge, overdose on meds and even slitting my wrist.
Two things I pray against is getting pregnant, and proverty.
I pray to God right now begging and asking for forgiveness and please give me a better life but heavenly father if you know there is no hope for me please take my life.
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