Emotional hiphop

I remember the first guy I had a serious crush on he was so nice wait scratched that he pretended to be very nice but ended up being a jerk,and he was playing me he tried to scam me and almost got away too.
My next crush was oh so tall and had a buff body an OK face But a steamy sexy body. I was crazy over him but he not so much ( I never knew really couldn't tell the signs ) he later revealed he just wanted a place to stay and free food. He never really cared for me  plus he wanted a white girl to date.
From there on I only had flings nothing serious cause I was scared still scared. Another decent chap I met was so sweet caring infact a match made in heaven but sadly he is married.
So I returned back into my shell, I have a distant relationship but as of this evening not even sure what we are anylonger (he is acting funny cause I did not check up on early enough ) but you know distant relationship can't really be called a relationship cause he is over there am over here what you do with your free time I will never know except what you tell me but to be honest am tired of the relationship we cry more than we laugh today is one story, false  tale or another ( I hate it)
I met another guy recently who first day of introduction goes "oh I am in a complicated relationship so let's be friends I don't want any titled relationship it messes  things up"( plus he has different girls calling up his fone, I asked him if was  serious with any of them he said "no we are just friends  linda makes me feel sane but you drive me crazy " I felt sad I kept wondering if I made all the other guys insane that is why my relationship don't work (am so confused )
So we just hang but nothing serious( but I have decided to stop seeing him not worth the stress really ).  To be honest am SINGLE just SINGLE I don't know if God is punishing me  for some thing I have done because I keep meeting losers.
Even the universe keeps hooking me up with fucked up people am tired. How many frogs do I have to kiss before I eventually meet my prince.....arrgh damn it.
Tonight I took double dose of my drugs because I feel very low I need something to take my emotional pains away.........